When You’re Awake but Your Loved Ones Are Not

You’ve felt the pull. You’ve noticed the signs. Your life is changing; you are having your spiritual awakening. It isn’t long before you begin to realize that you feel differently than the people around you. Even though you’ve known them for years or even all of your life, suddenly their opinions and viewpoints feel foreign to you. You may even feel disgusted with a sudden realization at just how petty their so called problems are. When you try to explore this new found path and share it with them, you are met with their resistance. You’re angry and hurt at their lack of support. Tension mounts as you struggle to make peace within yourself. It can be a lot to handle for a newly awakened individual. Here are my thoughts on how to deal with this transition into a more awakened and spiritual life.

Energy and Vibrations

First of all, take a deep breath and let yourself relax. You are dealing with a very big issue; you are dealing with something on a multidimensional level. It is natural for you to feel your life shaking up around you as you begin to awaken. This is because energy is moving differently. To gain a better perspective on this, we need to understand how the creative energy of the universe works.

Quantum physics has taught us that everything in this universe is energy - even your thoughts and emotions. This energy gives off vibrations in various frequencies. When your thoughts change and you begin to step away from the ego, your thoughts become more universally connected to first, the human collective and next, to the cosmic connection. This causes your vibrations to rise in frequency. This creates a reaction in your energy field (your aura) which has a rippling effect, reaching out to other beings around you. When your frequency rises, those around you must either raise their frequency to be a closer match to yours or they must go away, out of your field. It is the law of magnetic attraction.

When you are met by resistance by those in your life, this is a clear sign that your vibrations are changing. If you find that they are offended by or even aggressive about your changes, you can bet that their fear has been triggered because this change in you is seen as a threat by their ego. This is all happening subconsciously, of course and only the self-aware would know that it is coming from a place of insecurity. Many people fear change and see it as a threat only because they do not trust life, but it takes a willingness to self-analyze to even be aware of this, so do not expect these people to make this realization. However, it helps you to understand where their resistance is coming from.

The Unconscious Fear

The late Louise Hay, author and founder of Hay House Publishing, said in her book, You Can Heal Your Life that “all problems stem from a lack of self-love” and I agree. There is a very deep rooted belief that we are unworthy, that we are somehow not good enough. This belief drives most of our behavior and it stems from the ego’s thought system. The ego believes in the illusion that we are separate beings and that we are separated from our Source. This creates a false thought of unworthiness within the human collective, like we were somehow bad little children who God kicked out of heaven. This is the unconscious fear that drives humanity to destructive behavior; the belief in the illusion of separation is the reason for all the pain and suffering in the world.

However, when we begin to awaken, we realize the Truth and see the illusion for what it is. We begin to see how everything is connected, how we are all extensions of Source and how everything is simply consciousness having experiences. We realize that the journey through the ego’s thought system was in order for consciousness to learn duality, to know the answer of what separation would feel like and to learn the value of love. For without the dark, we would not know the value of the light. As we awaken, we slowly dissolve the ego’s thought system and replace it with the Truth that lives within our souls. But even though we are awakening to this Truth, we must also realize that many others are still asleep.

When we remember this, we can reach inside to find the compassion for our loved ones even when they are spitting in our face. Not to say that is easy, because it is not. When they get fired up, do your best to take deep breaths (breathing is life force energy) and remind yourself that this is their fear talking. They are afraid that this means they are going to lose you as they know you. They had gotten rather used to the old you and the new you is still unknown.

They are trying to control you so that you do not change because they have taught themselves that in order to feel good, certain conditions need to be met. This is conditional love and it is what the majority of the world is taught. But with your awakening, you are being called to find and learn unconditional love, to love without restriction. This is your challenge now as you face these people who are refusing to let you change in peace.

Have patience with them and yourself, should you find yourself falling back into the trap of the ego. Awakening takes time and change can sometimes be rather bombastic when energies begin to shift. You might find that you lose old friends, but gain new ones. Or you might find a way to finally break down the barriers you had with someone else and create a new relationship based on love rather than fear. Or you might find that your loved ones begin to awaken too as they notice the changes in you. Whatever the changes are, know that they are coming because of your growth and this is a very good thing.

Dedicate Yourself to Authenticity

When someone is truly being their authentic self and they are connected with that inner strength within themselves, something magical happens. The universe supports your sincere efforts for change and spiritual growth. When you have reached the place within yourself where you realize that the most important thing you can bring to this world is your unique and authentic self, the universe will provide opportunities for you to live that truth. And dealing with day-to-day living situations has plenty of that!

If you find that you are met with resistance about practical things like lighting incense or candles, carrying crystals, setting up an altar or anything of the sort, relax. It is not necessary for you to have this in order for you to continue your spiritual journey. These sorts of things are tools and although they can be very helpful for many, they do not make or break your enlightenment. It is the honest and sincere quest of the spiritual student that matters, not the tools.

If you can, try to talk to the people who are resisting your spiritual expression and let them know that you are undergoing a spiritual change and that this is important to you. If you feel safe to do so, tell them that having these sorts of things in your environment helps you to feel connected and in alignment with your authentic self. Let them know that you respect their feelings but you are willing to compromise with them and work with them to find a win-win situation for you both. If they do not honor your request, thank them for listening and move on. It is not worth fighting it, let it go and ask the universe to bring you a solution. It will and if you are not caught up in the worry, doubt, fear or anger, you will be clear enough to see the solution.

When I was in the “broom closet” as I like to call it, I was faced with this dilemma. I was living with my parents for a short period after my divorce. I did not feel safe to tell most of my family about my spiritual journey, although I was authentic with everyone else in my life. I was fearful of what my Christian family members would say or do if they saw my altar materials so I kept them in an old fashioned suitcase under my bed. I wanted so badly to express myself spiritually, so I asked for a solution and sat in meditation. Then it hit me, I didn’t need to have a permanent altar. I could build a temporary one. So whenever I got the chance, I would grab my suitcase, go out into nature and set up my altar in the woods or by the river. The suitcase itself served as my altar. This gave me the added bonus of being surrounded by nature and I found that my meditation and prayer sessions always went better out there anyway.


Whatever you are facing in your life, remember this, there is a solution to every problem. If you are clear, you will receive the answers from the universe in one way or another. To remain clear, you must be mindful of your emotions, your thoughts and your vibrations (which is what creates your life) so that you are vibrating at a high enough frequency to notice the solutions and the support that the universe provides for you every day. Spending time in quiet meditation is the best way for you to train yourself to be mindful of these things and one of the quickest ways for you to raise your vibrations. Make it your daily practice and test this for yourself.

Most of all, when you are faced with resistance, remind yourself that you are learning unconditional love as a part of your spiritual journey back to your true nature as a co-creative force in this universe. And please remember that you are not alone even though it might feel like you are. There are many  of us out there who are awake with you and the more of us who live our Truth, the more of us will continue to awaken. Major changes are happening on this planet and many of us are hearing the call. Know that although your loved ones may not be supporting you through this, the universe supports your growth and is providing you with guidance on your path. Your path is made clearer when you can see it through the lens of compassion and unconditional love. Remember this and you can face any challenge that comes your way.


What are your experiences with this? Do you have more advice on how to handle this transition? Please share in the comments!


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