We have billions of people upon this planet, each one of us offering a unique perspective based on our unique life experiences. This is the diversity we see in our world and sometimes this diversity seems to create conflict. One group of people feel one way about a particular subject while another group is in total disagreement with them. Whichever group we find ourselves in, we feel that we are right and that everyone else should see things our way. If they do not, then they are the enemy and must be stopped if not completely eradicated. This can lead to all sorts of conflicts up to and including all out war. But what if we stopped seeing the diversity as a bad thing? What if we changed the way we looked at conflict? What if conflict was actually seen as contrast?
When we look at the word, contrast means to be different in nature or to show the unlikeness of things. In other words, contrast allows us to see how things are not alike. Photographers know this. When we look at a photograph, it is the difference between the shadows and the light which produces the image. Without the contrast, we would not be able to discern the image. With contrast, we are able to see more clearly, we are able to understand what it is we are looking at and we are in turn able to place our attention on the things which are wanted instead of on things which are unwanted. If we can begin to think of the conflicts in terms of being displays of contrast, we can take the emphasis off of the pain and focus instead on the growth which has come about because of it.
I sometimes hear from people that they cannot believe that they are the ones creating their own reality. They have had hardships or illness or something of the sort in their lives and so they cannot fathom why they would do something like that to themselves. They say, “I cannot be creating my own reality because I would not do these horrible things to myself.” And I say, “You are not doing them on purpose, but whether you’re aware of it or not, you are the creator of your experience and that’s a very good thing because that means no one else can create your experiences for you.”
Why you are perfectly justified to feel terrible about the bad things, the key is not to dwell there. Yes, bad things happen and sometimes it seems that other people are causing them, but we cannot leave our focus there if we wish to feel better. You cannot look at something bad and feel good. To find your growth, you must focus more on what that “bad thing” has caused you to desire for your life (the expansion) rather than explaining, defending or justifying why you aren’t having a better life experience right now. What has this contrast allowed you to see more clearly? What has it caused you to want for your life? What is the growth? If you can learn to look for the growth rather than the pain, the conflict can be viewed as contrast and in time you can begin to appreciate the contrast for what it is - a powerful tool which enables you to discern what it is you want for your life and your world. For when you know what you don’t want, you know what you do want. This is the value of contrast. But getting to the point where you can see the growth can take some time and practice as I can well tell you.
There was a time where I could relate to their way of thinking as I had enough hardships in my own life to feel that someone else was doing these things to me. Why would I, as a small child, ask for the abuse my father inflicted upon me? And how could I even do that as a small child? Surely it had to be someone or something else that allowed that to happen. Not to mention all of the pain I carried because of it for so many years - I would never create that for myself! Those thoughts are actually the ones that led me on my spiritual quest so many years ago. I had to figure out why something like that would ever be allowed to happen and I had to figure out why it happened to me specifically. I needed it to make sense because it felt so wrong. I kept asking myself “Why? Why did this happen? Why me? What’s wrong with me?” So I set out on a spiritual journey to discover the answers, which eventually led me to my greatest understanding - that I am the creator of my reality and I have the power to alter my experience in any given moment. And most importantly, that there was absolutely nothing wrong with me.
As I learned and practiced the Law of Attraction, the great question of “Why?” was answered for me. I realized that it was the contrast which created the greatest expansion in my life. I realized that it was the very thing I was pushing so hard against which was creating a better version of me, if I would just allow it. My soul had become so much more because of it, but I hadn’t gone with that growth. I had a contrasting experience at a young age because I knew the potential growth that would come from it. And my parents knew it too and were willing participants in our mutual growth. We knew it at a deep, soul level, the level of our Source as we came into this life experience with intentions for growth. It took my own personal spiritual journey to discover it on a conscious level so that I can understand it here and now. But even if I never did gain that understanding while I was here in this body, I would gain the understanding upon death when my soul reemerged into the fullness of that which I am. As will my parents one day. As we all will.
I understand now that it is the “bad” things that happen in life which allows the growth to happen, which allows us to continue to evolve into better and better beings. In truth, there are no bad things as we must have the contrast in order to continue our perpetual motion of creation/evolution. All things are good because the contrasting experiences are the means by which our ever expanding creation is possible. If the contrast didn’t exist, we would not be able to continue to become more, we would not be eternal. For it is the shadows which allows us to discern the light and it is the silence between the notes which allows us to hear the music.
It is the duality of all things which gives us a jumping off point for creation. When we know what we don’t want, our Inner Beings immediately know what we do want. And that is where our Inner Being is guiding us toward what we want and giving us constant feedback (by means of emotions) on where we are in relation to it. When we dwell in the negative thoughts and feelings, we are not near what is wanted. We can dwell there for so long that we pinch ourselves off from the well-being which flows to us naturally from Source. And then depression sinks in because you cannot be focused on what is unwanted and feel good at the same time. It is only when we give up the struggle that we can finally allow more of that natural well-being back into our experience.
But it isn’t easy to give up the struggle, especially when we live in a world that is so real and observable. A world which constantly shows us the “reality” of what is current. We can touch it, taste it, hear it, see it. Just like the scientists of old thought that everything was solid before we discovered the quantum world, we think that this manifested world is all there is to reality, unaware that what is observable is actually old news in terms of creation. What has already been manifested is not the end all, it is merely the reflection of where you have been. It is the jumping off point for what is to come. What is really being created by and for you is coming from your point of attraction right here and now. That is why your ability to deliberately focus is so important and that is why all of your power is right here, right now. It is never in the past, the past is only a platform from which you can launch your new desires. And there really is no future as you are creating your future now. Everything you do is always happening Now.
Since reality is subjective to the individual, we have the ability to focus on the reality we wish to see manifest in this timespace reality. We have the ability to focus on the thoughts which make us feel better. When we are in the middle of a contrasting experience, it isn’t always easy to focus on the good right away and sometimes the signal from Source isn’t easy to hear when we are pinching ourselves off. We have to practice our ability to focus deliberately, to tune ourselves to the same frequency to that which we are wanting, it is a skill and one which will continue to improve provided we do not become lazy and complacent with our thoughts. This is why it is imperative that we care about how we feel. We must be selfish enough to care about our feelings, to want to feel good and to make the effort to find a better feeling thought in any given moment. Only then will we be able to find the growth which came about from the “bad things” and only then will we be free to live the joyous life we intended for ourselves.
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